Adeleke Bukola Christiana(Bukkytrendz)
Dear Single Lady,
How has been your day? I hope you have been good. I’m sorry for the long break but please know that I didn’t intend it that way.
I welcome you to this edition of Single Ladies Series and I pray that this seed will find a good soil in you to germinate and bring forth good fruits in Jesus name.
SINGLE LADIES MEETING
Topic: KEEPING A GODLY AND HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP.
We saw in the last article that relationships aren’t about sex, we should be ourselves , we shouldn’t force ourselves on the opposite sex because we love them and that we should learn to be happy with ourselves even before joining with somebody else.
Every good relationship doesn’t just come to existence all by themselves, there must have been a lot of hard work. Yes, lots of prayer, time, attention and the likes must have been invested in them. We will see in the next paragraphs some of the investments to be made in order to have a godly and healthy relationship.
Firstly, let Christ be the bedrock of your relationship. Please ensure you seek the face of God concerning your partner before accepting their proposal. Don’t let someone else hear for you, hear God by yourself ( John 5:30) but also know that if you have not been hearing God on little matters before, it would be wrong to think you can hear Him for the right partner. So be sure you heard by yourself so that you won’t hold your partner or any other person responsible for any challenge you are likely to face in the relationship, and more importantly you won’t feel obliged to marry anyone or trapped in a relationship because somebody told you that if you don’t marry Tunde then you’ve missed it as far as marriage is concerned.
Just imagine what happens when a believer sister is engaged to a believer brother only to discover in a prophetic service few weeks before the wedding that the brother has a child out of wedlock which he never told her about. Let’s assume a minister of God under the anointing of the HolySpirit just called out the brother and gave a prophetic declaration concerning his 5years old daughter and the brother could not deny but publicly confirms it. The congregation then starts murmuring in confusion and the betrothed sister buries her face in shame. What exactly do you think such sister would do? Call off the wedding or go ahead with the wedding probably because of the fear of losing the man that she believes is destined for her?
I won’t be surprised if a sister still continue with such relationship because she has been told that if she doesn’t marry the brother then she can never be fulfilled. I want to believe that you now understand the place of hearing directly from God.
To keep a relationship healthy , ensure you maintain an effective communication with your spouse. Communicate your interests, your view on a subject , your vision and how you intend to go about it. Draw out your plans and include him in the plan. Ask about his plans as well, assure him about your support and participation in the execution of his plans.
Let him know the things he does that you are not comfortable with, mind you that should be done in love. Correct him with a lot of patience and love(James 1:4). Don’t communicate in hate !!!!
More so, have mutual respect for your partner. Respect his views , you shouldn’t expect all your views to be considered at all times and don’t always be in a hurry to take a decision or conclude on every matter.
Treasure your partner, appreciate the values you find in him and I’m sure he will reciprocate. Always make him feel loved, special and secured even when you are not together.
Think before you speak. Consider all of your words before saying them, remember that once your words are out, they can’t be taken back. Abuse whether verbal or emotional defies a relationship so don’t give him the room to nurse any hurt due to your misuse of words.
Use common courtesy in your words and in the tone of your voice, don’t shout at him because you are angry.
Be quick to apologize and accept an apology, don’t hold on to past misunderstanding. Let him know that whenever you accept his apologies, you have truly forgiven him . You don’t have to bring his last mistake into play again because he just made another one.
In conclusion, always tell the whole truth to him no matter what(Ephesians 4:25), It helps him to trust you completely.
BE TOLERATING enough to accommodate your would be in-laws no matter what their personalities are.
Give it all it takes to be a gentle and peaceful person. Don’t see it as a sign of weakness, it is a sign of godliness and strength (James 3:17).
Have a mentor or role model. Prayerfully ask God concerning your role model and don’t just choose randomly because you like him or her. Ask God to lead you to the right person.
Please also ensure that you know who your partner is accountable to.
I pray the Lord will expand these words in your heart and give you a better understanding in Jesus name.
I celebrate you.
FB: Adeleke Bukola Christiana(Bukkytrendz)